She's JV to your varsity
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
