I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
