we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
