I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Are we in a gay sports bar?
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
