Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I just gargled with NyQuil
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
