is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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