Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
