you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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