Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
