Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
