Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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