oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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