The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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