i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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