I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
