what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
