Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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