if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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