Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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