I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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