do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Randomize
