In the future we'll all be gay
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
