so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I'm both gender and math confused
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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