Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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