Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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