dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
