420 ftw
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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