I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
