ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
