Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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