i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
