Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
