so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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