party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
