Your tits are I can't wait for
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Randomize
