I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
