Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
You're like the curious george of whores
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
