your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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