Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize