a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
