I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
