Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
