yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
