Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
