You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Randomize
