Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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