Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
