I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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