thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
