im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
It's shark week go big or go home
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Randomize
