i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Randomize
