we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
