I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
