I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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