one two three fourrrrnication!
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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