you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
