There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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