I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
