i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
it was like eating out sand paper
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
