She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
