I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
